jess3 blogs,



Although the Jay-Z/ R. Kelly Best of Both Worlds tour was officially announced last week, the itinerary has been slow in coming. However, Roc-A-Fella has posted some of the stops on its Web site and tickets for those dates are available.

When the duo announced the tour last week, only the opening and closing dates were revealed. The dates on Roc-A-Fella's Web site bear little correlation with the dates cited in Kelly's court documents last month.

On Tuesday, Kelly released his latest solo album, the double set Happy People/ U Saved Me. The singer is scheduled to perform Friday night (August 27) in Miami as part of the invitation-only BMI Urban Awards. The Pied Piper of R&B is having a party in his honor Saturday night in MIA as well.

Best of Both Worlds tour dates, according to Roc-A-Fella Records:

* 9/30 - Rosemont, IL @ Allstate Arena
* 10/1 - Cincinnati, OH @ U.S. Bank Arena
* 10/2 - Columbus, OH @ Value City Arena
* 10/3 - Cleveland, OH @ CSU Convocation Center
* 10/5 - Buffalo, NY @ HSBC Arena
* 10/7 - Washington DC @ MCI Center
* 10/8 - Baltimore, MD @ 1st Mariner Arena
* 10/9 - Greensboro, NC @ Coliseum
* 10/10 - Nashville, TN @ Gaylord Center
* 10/17 - Memphis, TN @ FedEx Forum
* 10/28 - Uniondale, NY @ Nassau Coliseum
* 10/31 - East Rutherford, NJ @ Continental Airlines Arena
* 11/28 - Phoenix, AZ @ TBA



i got ticket presale info

Username: jay-z
Password: tickets



A record 40,000 people thronged this small eastern Spanish town to take part in the annual "tomatina" -- a festival of tomato-hurling that leaves participants and buildings covered in red juice, pips and skin.

Five trucks delivered 130 tonnes of the fruit for the hour-long combat which attracted foreign tourists, among them British, French, Argentinian and Japanese visitors, as well as locals, many wearing a minimum of clothing.

Tradition dicates that on the last Wednesday of August at 11:00am (0900 GMT) the trucks move down the central street of Bunol, normal population 20,000, to the town square depositing their load as they go.

On the stroke of noon the signal is given and for the next 60 minutes participants hurl tomatoes at each other until a gunshot signals the end of the fiesta.

The cleaning-up phase follows, with combattants washing the signs of battle away in the local river or under hundreds of temporary showers, while the facades of buildings are hosed down, emerging brighter than ever after their acid bath.

The festival has its origins in a battle between friends in the 1940s. The Valencia region in which Bunol is situated grows many kinds of fruit and vegetables and is regarded as Spain's market garden.

In the past people have been hurt during the tomato fight but no casualties were reported this year.









Crowds of people welcome a truck as it drove into a small square to dump a load of tomatoes during the 'Tomatina' tomato throwing fight in Bunol, Spain, Wednesday Aug. 25, 2004.











How much would you pay for a bottle of beer that stays cold nearly an hour longer? Pittsburgh Brewing Co., maker of Iron City Beer, is asking an additional $1 per case.

The brewery has partnered with Alcoa Inc., the world's largest aluminum maker, to produce aluminum bottles that keep beer colder for as much as 50 minutes longer than a glass bottle, Alcoa officials said.

About 20,000 cases of the new aluminum bottle beer are en route to as many as 28 states and should be on shelves this week, Alcoa and Pittsburgh Brewing said Tuesday.

The bottles have three times the aluminum of a typical beer can. That gives them superior insulation, Alcoa spokesman Kevin Lowery said.

It's not the first time Alcoa has teamed up with the local brewery to put out a new product. In 1962, the two put the first pull-tab beer cans on shelves, freeing beer drinkers of the need to carry openers with them.

"We think it's much better than a can and as good or better than glass," said Joe Piccirilli, vice chairman for Pittsburgh Brewing. "There's no doubt in my mind that this has the same potential as the pull tab we did with Alcoa."

Iron City wants to expand sales. But the aluminum bottle may be more important to Alcoa. The aluminum giant wants to win back a share of the market it lost to beer bottles — both glass and plastic, which are now common at sporting events nationwide.

About 40 percent of all beer consumed comes out of cans, 43 percent from bottles and 8 percent from the tap, according to the Beer Institute, which tracks industry trends. Bottles, however, have gained ground over the past decade.

Plastic bottles make up only 0.5 percent of all beer sales, according to the Beer Institute. But having aluminum bottles at sporting events would introduce the product to thousands, who might buy a case for home.

Pittsburgh Brewing said it won't drop glass bottles or cans from production.

Some people say they can taste the difference between beer in cans and bottles.

Lew Bryson, an author of two books on breweries, said those complaints are psychological, since the aluminum is coated. But, he said, there may be a lingering taste when the seal of an aluminum can is broken.

The aluminum bottle could eliminate that, he said.

One microbrewery based in Missoula, Mont., has been using aluminum bottles. Heineken released a limited edition aluminum bottle last year.

Aluminum bottles also have proven successful for a few breweries in Japan, but Iron City is the first company in North America to ship the bottles nationally, company officials said.

Alcoa and brewery officials say the biggest selling point of the bottle may be its appearance.

Bryson agreed, and said plastic bottles have also been problematic at some bottling plants because they are lighter than glass and can become jumbled.

But he said the advantages may not outweigh the price.

"It seems a bit like an answer in search of a question," he said.

Pittsburgh Brewing said aluminum bottles cost more than twice than glass — about a nickel more per beer — but Alcoa and the brewery said the cost will come down if other beer companies follow suit.

Pittsburgh Brewing, which sells about 6 million cases of beer annually, has opened a six-figure marketing campaign to try to make the idea stick.

"I think in the next 12 to 18 months, more people are going to get into this like we are," said Piccirilli. "We're not kicking the tires."

___

On the Net:

Pittsburgh Brewing Company: http://www.pittsburghbrewingco.com

Alcoa Inc.: http://www.alcoa.com





Pittsburgh BrewingCompany, makers of Iron City beer, unveiled a new aluminum beer bottle at a news conference in Pittsburgh, Tuesday, Aug. 24, 2004. The brewery has partnered with Alcoa Inc., the world's largest aluminum maker, to produce aluminum bottles that keep beer colder for longer, Alcoa officials said. (AP Photo/John Heller)

i like this idea for my energy beer. (shhhhh)





Yu Zhenhuan waits for an interview beside his hospital bed in Shanghai August 13, 2004. Yu, who is China's hairiest man, has 96 percent of his body covered with hair.





Gail Devers of the US prepares to start her women's 100 meter heat of the 2004 Olympic Games in the Olympic Stadium in Athens, Friday Aug. 20, 2004





Ukraine's Armen Vardanyan struggles under a hold by Turkey's Seref Eroglu during their men's Greco-Roman wrestling (under 66kg) competition at the Athens Olympic Games





Brazil's Ana Paula Connelly (R) and team mate Sandra Pires hug after losing their match to team Brazil Adriana Behar and shelda Bede after the women's quarter-final beach volleyball event at the Athens 2004 Olympic Games






The USA's Kerri Walsh, rear, hugs teammate Misty May following a two-set win over Canada during a match in the 2004 Olympic Games (news - web sites) at the Olympic Beach Volleyball Centre in Athens, Greece on Sunday, Aug. 22, 2004. The USA beat Canada 21-19 and 21-14.






Jess Bolkcom, at the Gramercy Park Hotel, in “vintage 1960s Lilly Pulitzer jacket with the signature ‘Lilly Flower’ pattern and yellow pants made by my tailor in Pittsburgh—the same one my dad used.”


per request by Natasha Fedoseyev




nick and i flew to miami via chicago


the first night we went to this club bed,
from the left, Me, Erik, Sara, nick in front, Calvin
<

wasteddddd

we walked in past this crowd cause we got bottle service ;)






we went to this place coconut grove to cafe tu tu tango, i was nursing this killer hangover and miracuiously after dancing with the cafes tango dancer for the restraunt i felt 110% better




then we went to senor frogs




the view from calvins place is so nice
<


friday night we went to this club mansion, they were playing really good hiphop




lots of hot cars everywhere




saturday we met up with derrick (nicks boy from AU) it was his 21st birthday !, we went to this hotel bar delano, this place was piiiiiimp.




yeah.








sunday we went to nikki beach for lunch




drank some pitchers of mojitos




the view from calvins pool




sunday night we went to this jazz club Van Dyke, and saw this awesome brazilian female singer




then back to nikki beach for drinks






yeah.






cab drivers in miami are some characters



transporter 2 was being filmed in front of the apt






33rd floor.



If Jadakiss' old line that "gangstas don't die, they get chubby and move to Miami" is true, then all the retirees living down south are gonna need to make some more room. Hip-hoppers are already using the city both as a retreat to record and as a test market to break music. If they continue to take up residence at the current rate, things are gonna get crowded.

You thought Sylvester Stallone and Gloria Estefan were the biggest stars down there? Not a chance. Luke Campbell put Miami on the map, Trick Daddy and Trina kept the city's name out there, and Will Smith and producer Scott Storch set up shop there a long time ago. It's the only place you can find Lauryn Hill these days, and P. Diddy, Timbaland, Jay-Z, Beyoncé, Fat Joe and Usher have either just bought homes or are in the process of purchasing Miami cribs.

If you ask most people who can't stay away from Miami, they'll cite one or both of the two W's: the weather and the women.

"MIA is the spot," Jadakiss said. "It's marvelous. The weather is marvelous, the party scene is right. If you've got a house on the water, you're living right. It's just the place to be. I'm actually looking for a house down there. I gotta do South Beach. That's one of my dreams. I'll probably just go there in the wintertime, though, so I'll have a whole year of summer. I love to wear shorts."

This year alone, Nas, Lil Jon, LL Cool J, the Diplomats' Jim Jones, Lauryn Hill, Timbaland and Fat Joe have been in Miami putting together smash hits. If you ask most artists why they leave their hometowns to record, most of them will give you the same answer: It's easier to give attention to their craft. Sometimes it's hard to stay focused when you have your boys, your girlfriends, your aunts, your uncles and fans all trying to come to your session and hang out.

"It's hard for me to concentrate up top," Harlem native Jim Jones said several months ago from South Beach, where he went to record his upcoming ... On My Way to Church. "It wasn't there for me in New York to get the music out how I wanted to do. I said, 'I'mma vacate and come down here where nobody knows me on a personal level and get in tune.' "

Plus Miami can provide new inspiration.

"I know certain artists like to come to the clubs out here and then go straight to the studio and record," said Terror Squad member DJ Khaled, one of Miami's top spinners. "The ambiance in the clubs here is incredible, it's something special. We do it all night. ... On a regular night you can go in the club and see J. Lo or Usher, and paparazzi will be outside flashing cameras. Some people think that they won't be focused on the music if they come to Miami and start partying, but actually you are focused because you're in Miami partying and making the music to please the type of people you're partying with."

For a different flavor than the club scene, artists can find some of the roughest 'hoods around just a few miles from South Beach.

"We tell people that Miami Beach is not the real Miami," says DJ EFN, who makes mixtapes in Miami. "It actually intrigues them more 'cause they're not just seeing that bullsh-- on South Beach. [In] the 'hood they see everything. Somebody like N.O.R.E., I'll take him around the city, I'll take him to the grimy strip clubs like Coco's and Rolex. They see everything that encompasses Miami. Even the big studio out here, the Hit Factory, is kinda in the 'hood."

Which brings us to one of hip-hop's new trends. Since plenty of the stars are in now in Miami soaking everything up and making music, it's only right that the city has become a breeding ground for some of the latest big hits. Artists recording down south can take a song they think is a banger straight from lab to the nearest hot club and radio DJs.

"I get it straight out the studio or straight from the label or a CEO that knows me," revealed Khaled, who's been steadily breaking records this year, like Tony Sunshine's "Oh My God" and Pitbull's "Culo." "I've got a lot of relationships with artists. I was the absolute first person to play LL's 'Headsprung.'

"Timbaland gave me that record before Def Jam had it," he continued. "Me and Timbaland are real cool. I go to his studio sessions all the time, and he always gives me his records first. A lot of people thought 'Headsprung' was just all right because it wasn't your average LL record. I was like, 'This is crazy.' Regardless of my relationship with the artist, if I like a song, I go real hard and [play it] like crazy. I'm going to try and really break it. Now it's real big in the club."

Of course, having one of the biggest songs of the year recorded in your home studio by your best friend is another way to stumble across a hit first.

" 'Lean Back' got recorded in my studio, so I knew the record before DJs got a chance to hear it," said Khaled, who also spins on radio station 99 Jamz. The DJ met Fat Joe a few years back and the two have since developed a strong kinship. "I kept telling people on the radio and across the country, 'There's a record coming that's so big. I'm telling y'all, I ain't gonna lie to you.' When we dropped it, everybody remembered them words and it ended up being history from there."

Another thing that's making Miami such a musical hotbed is its diverse cultural population, and DJs aren't afraid or too caught up in politics to give some love to the local crop of MCs.

Hometown heroes Jacki-O, Dirtbag and Pitbull have all been able to build a national buzz from the love they generated in Miami, while up-and-comers like Garcia look to follow in their footsteps. So with the MTV Video Music Awards approaching, chances are that some of the biggest artists will be leaking new music to DJs like EFN and Khaled, knowing that the whole industry will be in one spot. What better time to show off?



i saw this movie this weekend. it was really good. and method man makes a cameo.

Story:
Andrew Largeman (Braff) is a third rate L.A. television actor who must return home to Jersey when his mother dies. Wandering around in a highly medicated state, he meets Sam (Portman), a quirky young woman who becomes his companion on a number of adventures through Jersey, teaching Largeman that there is a lot more to life than what he left back in Los Angeles.

Analysis:
Considering how many big "buzz movies" have come out this summer, not from the big studios, but smaller films that debuted at this year's Sundance Film Festival, it's amazing when one comes along that takes you by surprise despite having high expectations. Plenty of television actors have thrown their hat into the ring of directing an independent feature, but few of them pull it off as well as Zach Braff does with his first movie, Garden State, a very original take on the overused term "romantic comedy".

It takes a bit of time to get used to the disjointed storytelling as Braff's character Andrew Largeman, better known to his friends as "Large", is dragged from one location to another meeting strange characters before quickly moving on. Everyone at least once in their life has spent a day being dragged around by a friend for reasons only known to them to discover that the quest is often more memorable than the actual destination. While not all of the disparate scenes work, the ones that do are amazing.

Since Large is heavily medicated for the first half hour of the movie, Braff isn't responsible for delivering the laughs that his "Scrubs" fans may be used to. The humor is far more subtle than you might expect, often resorting to sight gags that are more surreal than funny. The characters he meets are not strange in the "Twin Peaks" sense, but more mundane and odd, driven to take their quirks as far as they can. It makes you wonder if there is anyone even remotely normal in Braff's New Jersey.

Leave it to Natalie Portman to be Garden State's savior, something she does quite admirably as the quirky Sam, an adorably insane presence who changes the entire tone of the movie. She is the kind of woman that is almost impossible to not fall in love with, but also one that you know will be trouble for someone as emotionally stinted as Largeman. Then again, you can't help but love someone who has her own personal hamster cemetery in her backyard. Sam/Natalie's freedom of thought and expression is what keeps the movie fresh and interesting, not only because she brings out the best in Largeman in sharing her life with him, but as an actress, Portman brings out the very best in Braff. The chemistry between the two of them is so real and natural that it's almost impossible to not fall in love with the potential of their relationship. Essentially, Sam pulls Large out of his shell forcing his much-needed transformation in a similar to Kate Winslet's role in Michel Gondry's wonderful Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.

As Largeman's best friend and chronic bad influence, Peter Saarsgard pulls out another hilarious performance, his trademark dry wit bringing so much to every one of his scenes. You know that things are good when Sir Ian Holm, better known to some as Bilbo Baggins, has the least interesting character as Large's father and psychiatrist. It's not much of a stretch for Holm even with the stilted American accent, and though their relationship is as important as the one Large has with Sam, most of their scenes are not the movie's strongest moments.

Braff's background as a video director is evident from the way he seamlessly merges the mellow songs of Coldplay and The Shins into the story, and he brings a stylish eye to every scene without getting too flashy or obvious. Sure, there are a few times where the movie becomes in danger of turning into an extended music video, but that may only be due to the nature of the storytelling. Of course, when you put a Simon and Garfunkel song into a movie like this, you're just asking for comparisons to The Graduate, but there are probably worse ways to get your film career in gear than to solicit comparisons to Dustin Hoffman.

The Bottom Line:
Zach Braff's deeply endearing movie about home, family and love is the ultimate movie for dreamers and romantics. It will secretly sneak up on you, and the tears you may experience from watching the movie will be out of joy that someone finally understands what it's like to feel lost and how wonderful it is to find someone that can pull you out of it. Very few movies have gotten that sentiment on film as well as Garden State

via this movie review by Edward Douglas


It may have been the guy in the hood teetering on the stool, electrodes clamped to his genitals. Or smirking Lynndie England and her leash. Maybe it was the smarmy memos tapped out by soft-fingered lawyers itching to justify such barbarism. The grudging, lunatic retreat of the neocons from their long-standing assertion that Saddam was in cahoots with Osama didn't hurt. Even the Enron audiotapes and their celebration of craven sociopathy likely played a part. As a result of all these displays and countless smaller ones, you could feel, a couple of months back, as summer spread across the country, the ground shifting beneath your feet. Not unlike that scene in The Day After Tomorrow, then in theaters, in which the giant ice shelf splits asunder, this was more a paradigm shift than anything strictly tectonic. No cataclysmic ice age, admittedly, yet something was in the air, and people were inhaling deeply. I began to get calls from friends whose parents had always voted Republican, "but not this time." There was the staid Zbigniew Brzezinski on the staid NewsHour with Jim Lehrer sneering at the "Orwellian language" flowing out of the Pentagon. Word spread through the usual channels that old hands from the days of Bush the Elder were quietly (but not too quietly) appalled by his son's misadventure in Iraq. Suddenly, everywhere you went, a surprising number of folks seemed to have had just about enough of what the Bush administration was dishing out. A fresh age appeared on the horizon, accompanied by the sound of scales falling from people's eyes. It felt something like a demonstration of that highest of American prerogatives and the most deeply cherished American freedom: dissent.

Oddly, even my father's funeral contributed. Throughout that long, stately, overtelevised week in early June, items would appear in the newspaper discussing the Republicans' eagerness to capitalize (subtly, tastefully) on the outpouring of affection for my father and turn it to Bush's advantage for the fall election. The familiar "Heir to Reagan" puffballs were reinflated and loosed over the proceedings like (subtle, tasteful) Mylar balloons. Predictably, this backfired. People were treated to a side-by-side comparison—Ronald W. Reagan versus George W. Bush—and it's no surprise who suffered for it. Misty-eyed with nostalgia, people set aside old political gripes for a few days and remembered what friend and foe always conceded to Ronald Reagan: He was damned impressive in the role of leader of the free world. A sign in the crowd, spotted during the slow roll to the Capitol rotunda, seemed to sum up the mood—a portrait of my father and the words NOW THERE WAS A PRESIDENT.

The comparison underscored something important. And the guy on the stool, Lynndie, and her grinning cohorts, they brought the word: The Bush administration can't be trusted. The parade of Bush officials before various commissions and committees—Paul Wolfowitz, who couldn't quite remember how many young Americans had been sacrificed on the altar of his ideology; John Ashcroft, lip quivering as, for a delicious, fleeting moment, it looked as if Senator Joe Biden might just come over the table at him—these were a continuing reminder. The Enron creeps, too—a reminder of how certain environments and particular habits of mind can erode common decency. People noticed. A tipping point had been reached. The issue of credibility was back on the table. The L-word was in circulation. Not the tired old bromide liberal. That's so 1988. No, this time something much more potent: liar.

Politicians will stretch the truth. They'll exaggerate their accomplishments, paper over their gaffes. Spin has long been the lingua franca of the political realm. But George W. Bush and his administration have taken "normal" mendacity to a startling new level far beyond lies of convenience. On top of the usual massaging of public perception, they traffic in big lies, indulge in any number of symptomatic small lies, and, ultimately, have come to embody dishonesty itself. They are a lie. And people, finally, have started catching on.

None of this, needless to say, guarantees Bush a one-term presidency. The far-right wing of the country—nearly one third of us by some estimates—continues to regard all who refuse to drink the Kool-Aid (liberals, rationalists, Europeans, et cetera) as agents of Satan. Bush could show up on video canoodling with Paris Hilton and still bank their vote. Right-wing talking heads continue painting anyone who fails to genuflect deeply enough as a "hater," and therefore a nut job, probably a crypto-Islamist car bomber. But these protestations have taken on a hysterical, almost comically desperate tone. It's one thing to get trashed by Michael Moore. But when Nobel laureates, a vast majority of the scientific community, and a host of current and former diplomats, intelligence operatives, and military officials line up against you, it becomes increasingly difficult to characterize the opposition as fringe wackos.

Does anyone really favor an administration that so shamelessly lies? One that so tenaciously clings to secrecy, not to protect the American people, but to protect itself? That so willfully misrepresents its true aims and so knowingly misleads the people from whom it derives its power? I simply cannot think so. And to come to the same conclusion does not make you guilty of swallowing some liberal critique of the Bush presidency, because that's not what this is. This is the critique of a person who thinks that lying at the top levels of his government is abhorrent. Call it the honest guy's critique of George W. Bush.


THE MOST EGREGIOUS EXAMPLES OF distortion and misdirection—which the administration even now cannot bring itself to repudiate—involve our putative "War on Terror" and our subsequent foray into Iraq.

During his campaign for the presidency, Mr. Bush pledged a more "humble" foreign policy. "I would take the use of force very seriously," he said. "I would be guarded in my approach." Other countries would resent us "if we're an arrogant nation." He sniffed at the notion of "nation building." "Our military is meant to fight and win wars. . . . And when it gets overextended, morale drops." International cooperation and consensus building would be the cornerstone of a Bush administration's approach to the larger world. Given candidate Bush's remarks, it was hard to imagine him, as president, flipping a stiff middle finger at the world and charging off adventuring in the Middle East.

But didn't 9/11 reshuffle the deck, changing everything? Didn't Mr. Bush, on September 12, 2001, awaken to the fresh realization that bad guys in charge of Islamic nations constitute an entirely new and grave threat to us and have to be ruthlessly confronted lest they threaten the American homeland again? Wasn't Saddam Hussein rushed to the front of the line because he was complicit with the hijackers and in some measure responsible for the atrocities in Washington, D. C., and at the tip of Manhattan?

Well, no.

As Bush's former Treasury secretary, Paul O'Neill, and his onetime "terror czar," Richard A. Clarke, have made clear, the president, with the enthusiastic encouragement of Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld and Paul Wolfowitz, was contemplating action against Iraq from day one. "From the start, we were building the case against Hussein and looking at how we could take him out," O'Neill said. All they needed was an excuse. Clarke got the same impression from within the White House. Afghanistan had to be dealt with first; that's where the actual perpetrators were, after all. But the Taliban was a mere appetizer; Saddam was the entrée. (Or who knows? The soup course?) It was simply a matter of convincing the American public (and our representatives) that war was justified.

The real—but elusive—prime mover behind the 9/11 attacks, Osama bin Laden, was quickly relegated to a back burner (a staff member at Fox News—the cable-TV outlet of the Bush White House—told me a year ago that mere mention of bin Laden's name was forbidden within the company, lest we be reminded that the actual bad guy remained at large) while Saddam's Iraq became International Enemy Number One. Just like that, a country whose economy had been reduced to shambles by international sanctions, whose military was less than half the size it had been when the U. S. Army rolled over it during the first Gulf war, that had extensive no-flight zones imposed on it in the north and south as well as constant aerial and satellite surveillance, and whose lethal weapons and capacity to produce such weapons had been destroyed or seriously degraded by UN inspection teams became, in Mr. Bush's words, "a threat of unique urgency" to the most powerful nation on earth.

Fanciful but terrifying scenarios were introduced: Unmanned aircraft, drones, had been built for missions targeting the U. S., Bush told the nation. "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud," National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice deadpanned to CNN. And, Bush maintained, "Iraq could decide on any given day to provide a biological or chemical weapon to a terrorist group or individual terrorists." We "know" Iraq possesses such weapons, Rumsfeld and Vice-President Cheney assured us. We even "know" where they are hidden. After several months of this mumbo jumbo, 70 percent of Americans had embraced the fantasy that Saddam destroyed the World Trade Center.


ALL THESE ASSERTIONS have proved to be baseless and, we've since discovered, were regarded with skepticism by experts at the time they were made. But contrary opinions were derided, ignored, or covered up in the rush to war. Even as of this writing, Dick Cheney clings to his mad assertion that Saddam was somehow at the nexus of a worldwide terror network.

And then there was Abu Ghraib. Our "war president" may have been justified in his assumption that Americans are a warrior people. He pushed the envelope in thinking we'd be content as an occupying power, but he was sadly mistaken if he thought that ordinary Americans would tolerate an image of themselves as torturers. To be fair, the torture was meant to be secret. So were the memos justifying such treatment that had floated around the White House, Pentagon, and Justice Department for more than a year before the first photos came to light. The neocons no doubt appreciate that few of us have the stones to practice the New Warfare. Could you slip a pair of women's panties over the head of a naked, cowering stranger while forcing him to masturbate? What would you say while sodomizing him with a toilet plunger? Is keeping someone awake till he hallucinates inhumane treatment or merely "sleep management"?

Most of us know the answers to these questions, so it was incumbent upon the administration to pretend that Abu Ghraib was an aberration, not policy. Investigations, we were assured, were already under way; relevant bureaucracies would offer unstinting cooperation; the handful of miscreants would be sternly disciplined. After all, they didn't "represent the best of what America's all about." As anyone who'd watched the proceedings of the 9/11 Commission could have predicted, what followed was the usual administration strategy of stonewalling, obstruction, and obfuscation. The appointment of investigators was stalled; documents were withheld, including the full report by Major General Antonio Taguba, who headed the Army's primary investigation into the abuses at Abu Ghraib. A favorite moment for many featured John McCain growing apoplectic as Donald Rumsfeld and an entire tableful of army brass proved unable to answer the simple question Who was in charge at Abu Ghraib?

The Bush administration no doubt had its real reasons for invading and occupying Iraq. They've simply chosen not to share them with the American public. They sought justification for ignoring the Geneva Convention and other statutes prohibiting torture and inhumane treatment of prisoners but were loath to acknowledge as much. They may have ideas worth discussing, but they don't welcome the rest of us in the conversation. They don't trust us because they don't dare expose their true agendas to the light of day. There is a surreal quality to all this: Occupation is liberation; Iraq is sovereign, but we're in control; Saddam is in Iraqi custody, but we've got him; we'll get out as soon as an elected Iraqi government asks us, but we'll be there for years to come. Which is what we counted on in the first place, only with rose petals and easy coochie.

This Möbius reality finds its domestic analogue in the perversely cynical "Clear Skies" and "Healthy Forests" sloganeering at Bush's EPA and in the administration's irresponsible tax cutting and other fiscal shenanigans. But the Bush administration has always worn strangely tinted shades, and you wonder to what extent Mr. Bush himself lives in a world of his own imagining.

And chances are your America and George W. Bush's America are not the same place. If you are dead center on the earning scale in real-world twenty-first-century America, you make a bit less than $32,000 a year, and $32,000 is not a sum that Mr. Bush has ever associated with getting by in his world. Bush, who has always managed to fail upwards in his various careers, has never had a job the way you have a job—where not showing up one morning gets you fired, costing you your health benefits. He may find it difficult to relate personally to any of the nearly two million citizens who've lost their jobs under his administration, the first administration since Herbert Hoover's to post a net loss of jobs. Mr. Bush has never had to worry that he couldn't afford the best available health care for his children. For him, forty-three million people without health insurance may be no more than a politically inconvenient abstraction. When Mr. Bush talks about the economy, he is not talking about your economy. His economy is filled with pals called Kenny-boy who fly around in their own airplanes. In Bush's economy, his world, friends relocate offshore to avoid paying taxes. Taxes are for chumps like you. You are not a friend. You're the help. When the party Mr. Bush is hosting in his world ends, you'll be left picking shrimp toast out of the carpet.


ALL ADMINISTRATIONS WILL DISSEMBLE, distort, or outright lie when their backs are against the wall, when honesty begins to look like political suicide. But this administration seems to lie reflexively, as if it were simply the easiest option for busy folks with a lot on their minds. While the big lies are more damning and of immeasurably greater import to the nation, it is the small, unnecessary prevarications that may be diagnostic. Who lies when they don't have to? When the simple truth, though perhaps embarrassing in the short run, is nevertheless in one's long-term self-interest? Why would a president whose calling card is his alleged rock-solid integrity waste his chief asset for penny-ante stakes? Habit, perhaps. Or an inability to admit even small mistakes.

Mr. Bush's tendency to meander beyond the bounds of truth was evident during the 2000 campaign but was largely ignored by the mainstream media. His untruths simply didn't fit the agreed-upon narrative. While generally acknowledged to be lacking in experience, depth, and other qualifications typically considered useful in a leader of the free world, Bush was portrayed as a decent fellow nonetheless, one whose straightforwardness was a given. None of that "what the meaning of is is" business for him. And, God knows, no furtive, taxpayer-funded fellatio sessions with the interns. Al Gore, on the other hand, was depicted as a dubious self-reinventor, stained like a certain blue dress by Bill Clinton's prurient transgressions. He would spend valuable weeks explaining away statements—"I invented the Internet"—that he never made in the first place. All this left the coast pretty clear for Bush.

Scenario typical of the 2000 campaign: While debating Al Gore, Bush tells two obvious—if not exactly earth-shattering—lies and is not challenged. First, he claims to have supported a patient's bill of rights while governor of Texas. This is untrue. He, in fact, vigorously resisted such a measure, only reluctantly bowing to political reality and allowing it to become law without his signature. Second, he announces that Gore has outspent him during the campaign. The opposite is true: Bush has outspent Gore. These misstatements are briefly acknowledged in major press outlets, which then quickly return to the more germane issues of Gore's pancake makeup and whether a certain feminist author has counseled him to be more of an "alpha male."

Having gotten away with such witless falsities, perhaps Mr. Bush and his team felt somehow above day-to-day truth. In any case, once ensconced in the White House, they picked up where they left off.


IN THE IMMEDIATE AFTERMATH and confusion of 9/11, Bush, who on that day was in Sarasota, Florida, conducting an emergency reading of "The Pet Goat," was whisked off to Nebraska aboard Air Force One. While this may have been entirely sensible under the chaotic circumstances—for all anyone knew at the time, Washington might still have been under attack—the appearance was, shall we say, less than gallant. So a story was concocted: There had been a threat to Air Force One that necessitated the evasive maneuver. Bush's chief political advisor, Karl Rove, cited "specific" and "credible" evidence to that effect. The story quickly unraveled. In truth, there was no such threat.

Then there was Bush's now infamous photo-op landing aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln and his subsequent speech in front of a large banner emblazoned MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. The banner, which loomed in the background as Bush addressed the crew, became problematic as it grew clear that the mission in Iraq—whatever that may have been—was far from accomplished. "Major combat operations," as Bush put it, may have technically ended, but young Americans were still dying almost daily. So the White House dealt with the questionable banner in a manner befitting a president pledged to "responsibility and accountability": It blamed the sailors. No surprise, a bit of digging by journalists revealed the banner and its premature triumphalism to be the work of the White House communications office.

More serious by an order of magnitude was the administration's dishonesty concerning pre-9/11 terror warnings. As questions first arose about the country's lack of preparedness in the face of terrorist assault, Condoleezza Rice was dispatched to the pundit arenas to assure the nation that "no one could have imagined terrorists using aircraft as weapons." In fact, terrorism experts had warned repeatedly of just such a calamity. In June 2001, CIA director George Tenet sent Rice an intelligence report warning that "it is highly likely that a significant Al Qaeda attack is in the near future, within several weeks." Two intelligence briefings given to Bush in the summer of 2001 specifically connected Al Qaeda to the imminent danger of hijacked planes being used as weapons. According to The New York Times, after the second of these briefings, titled "Bin Laden Determined to Attack Inside United States," was delivered to the president at his ranch in Crawford, Texas, in August, Bush "broke off from work early and spent most of the day fishing." This was the briefing Dr. Rice dismissed as "historical" in her testimony before the 9/11 Commission.

What's odd is that none of these lies were worth the breath expended in the telling. If only for self-serving political reasons, honesty was the way to go. The flight of Air Force One could easily have been explained in terms of security precautions taken in the confusion of momentous events. As for the carrier landing, someone should have fallen on his or her sword at the first hint of trouble: We told the president he needed to do it; he likes that stuff and was gung-ho; we figured, What the hell?; it was a mistake. The banner? We thought the sailors would appreciate it. In retrospect, also a mistake. Yup, we sure feel dumb now. Owning up to the 9/11 warnings would have entailed more than simple embarrassment. But done forthrightly and immediately, an honest reckoning would have earned the Bush team some respect once the dust settled. Instead, by needlessly tap-dancing, Bush's White House squandered vital credibility, turning even relatively minor gaffes into telling examples of its tendency to distort and evade the truth.

But image is everything in this White House, and the image of George Bush as a noble and infallible warrior in the service of his nation must be fanatically maintained, because behind the image lies . . . nothing? As Jonathan Alter of Newsweek has pointed out, Bush has "never fully inhabited" the presidency. Bush apologists can smilingly excuse his malopropisms and vagueness as the plainspokenness of a man of action, but watching Bush flounder when attempting to communicate extemporaneously, one is left with the impression that he is ineloquent not because he can't speak but because he doesn't bother to think.


GEORGE W. BUSH PROMISED to "change the tone in Washington" and ran for office as a moderate, a "compassionate conservative," in the focus-group-tested sloganeering of his campaign. Yet he has governed from the right wing of his already conservative party, assiduously tending a "base" that includes, along with the expected Fortune 500 fat cats, fiscal evangelicals who talk openly of doing away with Social Security and Medicare, of shrinking government to the size where they can, in tax radical Grover Norquist's phrase, "drown it in the bathtub." That base also encompasses a healthy share of anti-choice zealots, homophobic bigots, and assorted purveyors of junk science. Bush has tossed bones to all of them—"partial birth" abortion legislation, the promise of a constitutional amendment banning marriage between homosexuals, federal roadblocks to embryonic-stem-cell research, even comments suggesting presidential doubts about Darwinian evolution. It's not that Mr. Bush necessarily shares their worldview; indeed, it's unclear whether he embraces any coherent philosophy. But this president, who vowed to eschew politics in favor of sound policy, panders nonetheless in the interest of political gain. As John DiIulio, Bush's former head of the Office of Community and Faith-Based Initiatives, once told this magazine, "What you've got is everything—and I mean everything—being run by the political arm."

This was not what the American electorate opted for when, in 2000, by a slim but decisive margin of more than half a million votes, they chose . . . the other guy. Bush has never had a mandate. Surveys indicate broad public dissatisfaction with his domestic priorities. How many people would have voted for Mr. Bush in the first place had they understood his eagerness to pass on crushing debt to our children or seen his true colors regarding global warming and the environment? Even after 9/11, were people really looking to be dragged into an optional war under false pretenses?

If ever there was a time for uniting and not dividing, this is it. Instead, Mr. Bush governs as if by divine right, seeming to actually believe that a wise God wants him in the White House and that by constantly evoking the horrible memory of September 11, 2001, he can keep public anxiety stirred up enough to carry him to another term.


UNDERSTANDABLY, SOME SUPPORTERS of Mr. Bush's will believe I harbor a personal vendetta against the man, some seething resentment. One conservative commentator, based on earlier remarks I've made, has already discerned "jealousy" on my part; after all, Bush, the son of a former president, now occupies that office himself, while I, most assuredly, will not. Truth be told, I have no personal feelings for Bush at all. I hardly know him, having met him only twice, briefly and uneventfully—once during my father's presidency and once during my father's funeral. I'll acknowledge occasional annoyance at the pretense that he's somehow a clone of my father, but far from threatening, I see this more as silly and pathetic. My father, acting roles excepted, never pretended to be anyone but himself. His Republican party, furthermore, seems a far cry from the current model, with its cringing obeisance to the religious Right and its kill-anything-that-moves attack instincts. Believe it or not, I don't look in the mirror every morning and see my father looming over my shoulder. I write and speak as nothing more or less than an American citizen, one who is plenty angry about the direction our country is being dragged by the current administration. We have reached a critical juncture in our nation's history, one ripe with both danger and possibility. We need leadership with the wisdom to prudently confront those dangers and the imagination to boldly grasp the possibilities. Beyond issues of fiscal irresponsibility and ill-advised militarism, there is a question of trust. George W. Bush and his allies don't trust you and me. Why on earth, then, should we trust them?

Fortunately, we still live in a democratic republic. The Bush team cannot expect a cabal of right-wing justices to once again deliver the White House. Come November 2, we will have a choice: We can embrace a lie, or we can restore a measure of integrity to our government. We can choose, as a bumper sticker I spotted in Seattle put it, SOMEONE ELSE FOR PRESIDENT.


from ESQUIRE September 2004, Volume 142, Issue 3


Part detective story, part social critique, Suicide Club is a bloody, oddly comic thriller that attempts to lampoon the fad-driven aspects of Japanese pop culture while at the same time delivering a creepy whodunit. Thanks to the more mystery-driven elements, the film makes for compelling viewing despite its frustrating conclusion and heavy-handed attempts at satire.

Warning: POSSIBLE SPOILERS AHEAD! Read at own Risk.
Review by Sanjuro:

Only a few opening sequences in film history could rival the pure shock value of Suicide Club’s bizarre, gruesomely bloody intro. The film begins with an abnormally large crowd of chirpy Japanese schoolgirls gathering together at a subway station platform. In unison, the fifty-four girls suddenly step beyond the yellow line, join hands, and cheerfully plunge in front of the oncoming train—with excruciatingly gory results. To say the screen is “bathed in blood” would not be hyperbole. After witnessing such a bizarre, truly iconic sight, even the most jaded viewer will have to ask, “What the hell was that all about?”

Well, that's exactly what Detective Kuroda (Audition's Ryo Ishibashi) and his police cohorts are asking themselves when they learn of the brutal mass suicide. What would compel fifty-four young girls—all from different schools—to take their lives in such a grisly manner? And what are they to make of the mysterious bag left at the crime scene that contains a roll of human skin stitched together? And how does this connect to Dessert, the all-girl pop sensation whose music is played incessantly throughout the movie, often preceding each suicide?

Thankfully, the baffled detectives receive a call from a hacker (Yoko Kamon) calling herself "The Bat". Her cryptic tips lead the police to a mysterious website that appears to be posting information on the suicides before they happen. And happen again they do. The initial subway deaths are just the beginning of what seems to be a never-ending chain of self-destruction. But why?

As the bodies start piling up, Kuroda receives another call, this time from an anonymous source who tells the detective to lay off the case and just so happens to sound a lot like a boy with a frog in his throat. The coughing boy's message: "There is no Suicide Club." Undeterred by the child's warnings, Kuroda presses on, with fatal results. What follows is a tangled web of clues left for the team of detectives—and ultimately the viewers—to sort out for themselves.

Although an entertaining ride, Suicide Club is a mixed bag to say the least. When the plot is focused on Kuroda's investigation, the film maintains a creepy edge that places it in the same category as some of the better suspense thrillers in recent memory. But the movie loses that edge when it tries to be a social critique of mindless J-Pop-driven culture. Unlike George Romero's horror film/social satire, Dawn of the Dead, Sion Sono's Suicide Club fails to merge its two objectives in a satisfying way. If Sono would have employed just a tad bit more subtlety and relied less on exaggerated dark comedy, Suicide Club's barbs against mindless fads would have been far more resonant. Instead, they jeopardize the more straight-faced police procedural that dominates the plot.

But still, aside from the somewhat heavy-handed satirical riffs, Suicide Circle makes for compelling, oftentimes daring entertainment. The film takes a sharp turn at the three-quarter point, with a bold double twist reminiscent of Psycho and To Live and Die in L.A.. What immediately follows this twist is a deliciously evil fake-out, involving the introduction of Genesis (Rolly), a charismatic, Ziggy Stardust-meets-Charles Manson character who claims to be the true leader of Suicide Club. But just when the viewer thinks they are getting the answers they've been searching for the entire movie, the filmmakers pull a fast one: Genesis is just a fame-obsessed red herring.

Instead of capitalizing on this jarring revelation, the film then proceeds to the head-scratching finale involving a cabal of tiny, prepubescent cultists who may or may not have psychic powers. Unfortunately, the final unraveling of the mystery isn't explained in even a cursory way, and is instead left frustratingly ambiguous. That's Suicide Club's biggest problem: it spells out the things that it shouldn't (the satire); yet it remains unnecessarily vague about the things it's required to reveal (the secret of Suicide Club).

Suicide Club is at its best when it doesn't comment on the images that it shows. One of the more intriguing aspects of the film is the suggestion that what the boy told Kuroda is correct: that there is in fact no Suicide Club, that the initial mass suicide is an inexplicable tragedy, and that the deaths that occured afterwards are just one giant idiotic fad. But while some of the suicides are shown to be rash, copycat actions (and therefore ripe for satire), the film clearly shows that a sweeping conspiracy exists—with the blame placed squarely on some sort of secret "suicide solution" messages hidden in the idiotic pop songs of Dessert. But again, the question arises: why? How is Dessert connected to the "masterminds" revealed in the bizarre conclusion? Who are those mutant kids? And why the hell is Dessert misspelled in numerous ways throughout the film? Instead of using the dénouement to give the viewer some explanation—or at least a mild suggestion—of what Suicide Club is all about, the filmmakers instead opt for more questions.

As frustrating as Suicide Club may be, there is no denying that it does succeed in hooking viewers with its highly original concept. The film manages to establish a sense of creeping dread; the anticipation of what lurks around each corner proves far more terrifying than the cheap scare tactics employed in other films. Ryo Ishibashi exudes a sense of decency and commitment to his mission—qualities that have a definite payoff later in the film. As Kuroda, Ishibashi gives the viewers a solid protagonist they can latch onto during the dark journey ahead.

The lack of clear answers will frustrate many (this reviewer included) but what Suicide Club attempts to say and do, coupled with its success in executing some of those goals, makes the film worth recommending. And even with its baffling conclusion, there's at least one lesson to be gleaned from Suicide Club: J-Pop may be hazardous to your health. (Sanjuro 2004)


• Rumor has it that a sequel or two is in the works that will clear up some of the more ambiguous aspects of the plot.

• Although perhaps needless to say, the unrated version contains far more explicit gore than the R-rated version.



"Red meat and gin!" Julia Child would tell people who asked for her recipe for well-being, in a high, warbling voice that was once described as capable of "making an aspic shimmy."

In the end, though, early Friday morning, the woman who taught generations of Americans how to master the art of French cooking -- and have fun doing it -- spooned into something gently ironic: French onion soup. Her final meal had been made from scratch by her longtime assistant, using one of the food legend's own recipes.

Julia. Gone, and just two days shy of her 92nd birthday. There aren't many people who are instantly recognized by just one name, but she was one of them, right up there with Babe, Elvis and Marilyn. She was a giant in her field and in person, a towering 6-feet-2 woman who slipped into size 12 sneakers. As no small measure of her place in the hearts, minds and stomachs of Americans, after she vacated her home in Cambridge, Mass., in 2001, her entire kitchen was painstakingly taken apart (junk drawer contents and refrigerator magnets included) and rebuilt for display at the Smithsonian's National Museum of American History.

Raised in Pasadena, Calif., Child didn't grow up in a home that cared much about food (a maid prepared meals), and it wasn't until she found herself in postwar Paris, with her husband Paul, that she mustered any real enthusiasm for what would become her passion. Some classes at Le Cordon Bleu, the world-famous cooking school, led to an introduction in 1952 to Simone Beck and Louisette Bertholle, with whom Child opened a small cooking school and assembled many recipes into book form. "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" was the result of the trio's collaboration. It took a decade to put together but became an instant hit when it came out in 1961. Writing in the New York Times, food critic Craig Claiborne referenced it as "probably the most comprehensive, laudable and monumental work" on French cuisine then in existence.

Propelled to fame on Boston public TV beginning in 1963, Child wasn't the first person to pick up a knife and tell us on camera how to slice an onion or debone a chicken. But she was definitely the most entertaining. Remember the show where she flipped an omelet and it splattered on the stove?

"Well, that didn't go very well," she told viewers as she scraped up the mess and returned it to the pan. "But you can always pick it up if you're alone. Who's going to see?"

She never tried to be funny, she simply was funny.

During another program, the bell of a freight elevator went off in the background of the studio. "That must be the plumber," Child said, looking into the camera. "It's about time he got here!" In the early years, the budget was a mere $50 per show -- not including groceries. Her husband helped wash dishes, and the cameras kept rolling even if the star made a mistake. (Contrary to popular myth, Child claimed never to have dropped a chicken on tape.)

Child replaced people's fear of cooking with a sense of delight and adventure. She and the still-nascent medium of television were made for each other. As Laura Shapiro explained in "Something From the Oven," a history of postwar cooking in America, "Child had a charisma that blossomed with remarkable grandeur on screen, turning her into an authority figure who defied all the imagery the food industry had been promoting for decades." Far from old-fashioned or snooty, "she believed anybody could cook with distinction from scratch, and that's what she was out to prove."

Her sense of humor was matched by her attention to detail. Child spent a full two years investigating the secret to a proper (slightly sour and crusty) French bread: "It's the folding," she reported to her editor, Judith Jones, at Knopf. "It's all in the forming of the loaf!" Totally organized, she routinely spent up to 19 hours preparing for each 30-minute show.

With Julia, there was never an agenda. "Everything you saw was what she was," says Stephanie Hersh, Child's right-hand woman for the past 16 years. "The public persona was the private persona."

Even after she became a household name, the grand dame of cooking kept her Cambridge number listed in the phone directory. "She talked to everybody," Shapiro recalls. Child's nephew, David McWilliams, remembers dinners in his aunt's home interrupted by calls from strangers whose own meals were heading south. "My souffle is falling!" one cried. "Don't worry, dear," Julia would reassure -- then tell them how to repair the thing.

She was as democratic as they come. As a novice food editor in Milwaukee, I remember getting a call from a hostess who had been asked to reserve a hotel room for Child for a charitable event she was attending. The organizer was panicked about finding something regal enough, but when I called Child's secretary to find out what the legend preferred, I was told: "As long as the place has a good bar and a good burger, Julia will be happy." This from the woman who took haute cuisine and demystified it for the meat-and-potatoes masses.

Child had strong opinions and wasn't afraid to voice them. She loved Chinese food, anything with lots of butter and cream and things that looked like what they were supposed to be. Above all, she liked "honest food" -- simple, good cooking. Years ago, on a road trip with some gal pals, and armed with chicken sandwiches from home, she asked her companions to stop at a McDonald's. To the amazement of everyone in the restaurant, she ordered several bags of French fries and proceeded to eat them, with her sandwiches, in the dining room.

On the other hand, she detested undercooked vegetables ("crunchily underdone," she called them), cilantro, vertical food and anyone who tried to take the pleasure out of eating. She had this to say about the low-fat craze: "It's not food, it's a process."

Of the contemporary food scene, she was thrilled to see "educated people going into the business," but disappointed whenever she found someone who thought cooking was too much work. "If you want to learn a backhand in tennis, you learn how to do it, or if you're going to sail, you learn how to do it," she once told me in an interview. "Cooking should be exactly the same way. The more you know, the more pleasure you get out of it."

Child was modest about her status. "I'm not a chef," she always said. "I'm a cook and a teacher." One of the reasons her television program debuted as "The French Chef," aside from the fact she would be cooking French recipes, was because the title was brief. "So it would fit in the TV Guide."

Even in her later years, she thought she had much to learn. "That's the interesting part of being in the food business," she told me years ago. "You never know enough. I'd like to be a butcher, for instance." She also thought she should know more about dessert-making, particularly the detail involved in patisserie, although she admitted, "I'd rather spend my money, or calories, on the main course."

The end, at Child's residence in Montecito, Calif., with its view of citrus and fig trees, came quietly, just as Julia wanted it, said Hersh. "Julia died peacefully and comfortably in bed, with her cat, Minou."

"Bon appétit!" was how Child ended many of her shows. Now, for her many fans, it's those two words -- simple and honest -- that leave us with a recipe to remember.

By Tom Sietsema
Saturday, August 14, 2004; Page C01






i was lucky enough to meet julia child. she came to my elementary school when i was in 5th grade. i remember her being very nice..




You know that thing called DJing? Playing records in bars or at stupid art openings for money? Guess what DJing is? The biggest fucking bullshit con of all time! People who get over as DJs are making the easiest money ever, because they've convinced every PR person and club owner in the world that they're doing something only a few natural-born geniuses can do. It's laughable. A 70-year-old blind Ethiopian leper with 10 broken fingers can "spin" just as well as any B-list celebrity at any instore party for some gay snowboarding jeans company. I promise.

And those other guys who do all the little flick-flick, crabby moves on records that are covered with spots of adhesive tape that are supposed to mean something? Those aren't DJs! I don't know what to call them. Nerds, maybe? They called themselves "turntablists" five years ago, but I think that got embarrassing. One thing is for sure, though: Those guys don't DJ on the actual paying gig circuit that I'm on, because no hammered jock chicks or guidos from West Orange, N.J., will dance to an hour-long abstract scratch frenzy over a P-Funk B-side.

I've been making loads of supplementary income by DJing for a few years now, and I can barely even scratch my own back. All you really need is a CD burner, Kazaa, and passably cool taste in music. Here, I'll tell you all about my life as a party DJ:

TECHNIQUE
FLOW: The only slightly ephemeral skill to learn is flow. Have you ever made a mixtape for someone you had a crush on? Then you already know what flow is—the ability to maintain a mood. I was at a party once where the DJ kept playing one danceable hip-hop track, then one undanceable slow classic-rock track, one hip-hop, one slow rock, on and on like that for an hour! We would get up and dance, and then sit down, and then we finally just stayed down and shot him really dirty looks. It was the opposite of flow. To master flow, you just need to not be a fucking moron. Can you handle that?

Segueing from one genre to a totally different one is easy. You just build tiny little bridges instead of taking one big leap. For example, let's go from a hip-hop set to a punk-rock set. You play your last rap song, then a Prince track. Then maybe some ESG. Then the Slits. Boom! You're into the punk before they know what hit 'em.

LCD: This is your audience. It stands for Lowest Common Denominator. You are DJing for drunks and cokeheads, and they need the aural equivalent of safety blankets. What would you rather hear when you're high as fuck in a bar: Journey or some obscure acid-house? (If you're a geek, don't answer that.)
I used to spend all my time collecting the rarest tracks, stuff that when I heard it at home it would totally blow my mind. Guess what? No one cared. In fact, they stopped dancing. Now I stick to playing stuff that I liked when I was a teenager (the Misfits, "O.P.P.," and songs from John Hughes movies) and I'm golden. When in doubt, go nostalgic.

CUEING: This is where you enact the flow thing I just told you about. You have two sides, right and left. When something's playing on the right, think of a song that would sound good after it. Cue that song up on the left by pressing the same buttons on a CD player that you've pressed 1,000 times before (or putting a needle down in the appropriate groove on a record). When the song on the right side is about to end, slide the little thingy in the box between the decks to the left. When you're a little less than halfway over, press "play" on the CD or "start" on the turntable. Congratulations, you're DJing. Can I get a "That was easy"?

PERKS
LINES: A huge guilty pleasure is cutting the line and marching right up to the velvet rope all casual, going, "Hi, I'm the DJ." I like to go to a gig dressed like a total slob. The nicer the club, the shittier I look. Then I can stroll past all the people who used to spit on me in high school and make a big huge deal about going through the door first.

MONEY: Depending on who you are, a DJ's salary for one night can range from a few free drinks to obscene amounts (for the big shots) that make you hate capitalism. I heard Paul Sevigny got fucking $15,000 to DJ at Sundance. I hope that is DJ urban legend. Most DJs I know are pretty psyched if they get a couple hundred. Art openings should pay more, like $350. And remember: Always get paid in cash on the night of. Within 24 hours all money magically transforms into cocaine blown up some model's ass.

COMPLIMENTS: One of the best things about DJing is when you play a really kickass song and people come up to you dancing, going "I love this song!" You get all proud and pretend you wrote it. You're like, "Thanks!" Yeah, I downloaded "Youth Gone Wild," I rule. It's like being told your air-guitar skills are fucking SICK.

GEAR
NEEDLES: Those sleek, aerodynamic, $500 fancy-pants needles are the second biggest scam in DJing besides convincing people that DJing is hard. For totally serviceable needles, go to one of those electronics stores on Canal Street and get the cheapest set possible. You can talk them down on the price, too. I got a pair plus some shitty headphones for $90 after I sweet-talked the sales guy for a minute. (BTW, the cheap needles are called hip-hop needles and that's mean against blacks.)

MIXERS: There are a few brands of mixers, but who cares. DJs would like for you to think mixers are all complicated, but they're really about as hard to figure out as a home stereo. I once spun at this lesbian party where I ended up giving girls DJ lessons all night. They were lined up across the room, and it only took me a few seconds to show each of them the basics. As Garfield would say, "Big fat hairy deal." Once I showed them how simple it really is, they were shocked at the big deal that people make about the whole thing. Yeah, there are cute little tricks you can do. If you're playing a hip-hop song, it's fun to cut out the bass after the second verse and then kick it back in full force on the chorus. It's a nifty party trick and it makes girls lose their shit. But you can also just say, "Fuck it," set them all in the middle, and read a book in between tracks.

WHEELS OF STEEL: Please don't call them that. Don't call them "the ones and the twos" either. It sounds like your mom saying, "Homie don't play that."

ETIQUETTE
OOPS: You're going to fuck up. The record will skip or you'll be distracted by some drunk kid telling you how much "Bizarre Love Triangle" means to him or you'll let two Wire songs play in a row. No big whup. Everyone's too wasted to care. You should be too. Just take the opportunity to make announcements. I usually shout out important information such as, "Don't stop the rock, motherfuckers!" or "I need to pee!"

REQUESTS: Try not to cry when people request Missy Elliott, again. Or "Hey Ya!" or "Milkshake." Or Cher when you are spinning Minor Threat. Or simply "hip-hop." Or any genre of music, in fact. You wouldn't believe how often people request an entirely different genre of music than what the DJ is playing. It's infuriatingly rude. You're telling the DJ that you hate his or her music. If you don't like what I'm playing, wait 10 fucking minutes and I'll be onto a new thing anyway.

If you simply must request a song, it better be within the scope of what I'm playing at that very second AND it better be such an insane song that it'll make me go, "Oh shit, yeah, why didn't I think of that?"

True fact: That's only happened to me once out of hundreds and hundreds of requests. The song was "Sweet Emotion" by Aerosmith, believe it or not.

SAVING YOUR BEST STUFF: This is tricky. You don't want to blow your load before the night hits maximum party time, so you squirrel away your guaranteed crowd-pleasing monster jams and you wait, thinking, "Now? Now? Do I drop it?" And finally you're like, "It's time, I'm gonna hit it." And boom! It's a fuckin' nuclear-bomb explosion. A roomful of people you would barely be able to look at in the daytime are freaking out like they just won the lottery, all because you pressed a button. That's why you do this shit. That, and the fact that you are a total fucking spaz.

from vice magazine


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Here's the full transcript of last night's O'Reilly Factor: "Tonight, war has broken out between the Fox News Channel and The New York Times."

BILL O'REILLY, HOST: THE O'REILLY FACTOR is on. Tonight, war has broken out between the Fox News Channel and "The New York Times." We'll fill you in on that. Canada continues its strange behavior. That country OK's Al Jazeera, but still will not allow Fox News. A judge rules New York City police cannot search bags outside the Republican convention. Is that insane or what? And we'll examine the Linda Ronstadt-Michael Moore controversy in Las Vegas.

Caution, you're about to enter a no-spin zone. THE FACTOR begins right now.

Hi, I'm Bill O'Reilly. Thank you for watching us tonight.

It's war between Fox News and "The New York Times." That is the subject of this evening's "Talking Points" memo. For months, I've been telling you that "The Times" has become a brochure for the far left in America. The paper consistently uses its news pages to promote its liberal editorial position and uses its columnists to smear high-profile people with whom the paper disagrees.

Item -- book reviewer Janet Maslin gave glowing tribute to Stewart Smalley's defamation. When I mailed Maslin proof the man was lying, proof, she ignored the evidence completely.

Item -- Frank Rich accused me of taking bribes from Mel Gibson over "The Passion" controversy. Rich couldn't produce any evidence of that. And on the same subject, "The Times" had to issue a printed retraction when one of their reporters wrote that Gibson "deployed" me.

Item -- "The Times" has run 46 front-page stories about the Abu Ghraib scandal, far more than any major American paper and is using the issue to directly hammer the Bush administration.

Now "The New York Times" is attacking Fox News by legitimizing rank propaganda. Today film reviewer A.O. Scott, who loved the Moore movie, gleefully attacked FNC using the distorted work of an ultra liberal filmmaker. By the way, that guy's so-called movie was called anything but fair and balanced by "The Chicago Trib."

But Scott doesn't care about fairness. He simply wants to demonize Fox News.

For example, he puts forth that a man named Jeremy Glick was the victim of a "belligerent, boorish interview by me," your humble correspondent. Glick, whose father was killed at the World Trade Center, is described by Scott as someone "who came to oppose the administration's military response to 9/11." Scott makes the man seem very sympathetic.

But who is this guy, really? Well, on this program, Glick said President Bush and his father were responsible for his father's death. He said George W. Bush pulled off a coup to get elected. He implied the USA itself was a terrorist nation. And he called his father's death at the hands of an al Qaeda "alleged assassination."

He said America itself was responsible for the 9/11 attack because it is an imperialistic, aggressive nation. Glick was dismissed from THE FACTOR because he was completely off the wall. Security actually had to take the guy out of the building, he was that out of control.

Yet this is the man that "The New York Times" and other far-left elements are holding up as an abused innocent. Of course A.O. Scott is hiding under his desk. We called him tonight. Come on the program. Oh, no. Can't do that. He's a coward as well as a propagandist.

So enough's enough. And I am issuing this challenge directly to "The New York Times." I will debate any "Times" editor or columnist on the Charlie Rose PBS program. I talked with Mr. Rose this morning. He's happy to moderate such an event. So I'm calling these sleazy guys out. We'll let you know what happens. Do you think they'll show up? Yes, sure. And that's the memo.


Via Jim Gilliam, watch Bill O'Reilly try and bully Paul Krugman.
Download the clip here (quicktime 12.3Mb)



Jay-Z's career as part-owner of an NBA franchise has officially begun.

The NBA Board of Governors unanimously approved the sale of the New Jersey Nets on Thursday to an ownership group that includes the star rapper.

In January, the group, led by developer Bruce Ratner, had its $300 million offer accepted by the New Jersey Nets, though the sale still needed approval from the league.

Ratner recruited Jay-Z and a number of prominent Brooklynites with the idea of moving the franchise from the swamps of New Jersey to downtown Brooklyn. He plans to build a 19,000-seat arena in time for the 2006-2007 NBA season as part of a $2.5 billion development project, although the plan faces community opposition.

Jay-Z holds a minority interest in the team.

His participation in the ownership ranks, though, set the stage for another rapper to enter the sports field: Nelly. Last month, Nelly became an investor in the ownership group that runs the Charlotte Bobcats expansion NBA franchise, led by former BET owner Robert Johnson. The 2004-2005 season will be the Bobcats' first.




Mimis. american bistro
i designed these homepage comps (a plan .. ie the stage before buidling) yesterday. i like no 3 the best

i emailed them to the owner this morning. well see what he says.




nick and i are flying to miaim to meet up with our boy Erik. and to stay with his boy from mit. calvin. this is the miami crew part 3.



i hope the weather is nice.





Frusic
nick and I are gonna make this site so hot. don't sleep





bush vs the world.


draw with everyone.







virginia beach. chillin



A general view of a giant flower carpet at Brussels' Grand Place, August 13, 2004. The traditional carpet, made of about 700,000 begonias laid to form a floral decoration of 1,850 square meters, 'Art Nouveau' inspired, is on display for two days





Playing in the Rhine : Children play in the Rhine river near the western town of Bacharach, Germany, as temperatures continue to rise,




Jeff Gordon (L) kisses the yard of bricks finish line next to his car owner Rick Hendrick after Gordon drove to victory in the Brickyard 400 at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, August 8, 2004.





Supporters of Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry applaud as he delivers a speech in Jefferson City, Missouri.





Manchester United's Gary Neville (L) and Arsenal's Robin Van Persie fight for the ball at the FA Community Shield in Cardiff, Wales





Teresa Heinz Kerry, the wife of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry, was in the spotlight at the party's convention





Rick Roufus, left, delivers a blow to the body of Taro Akebono of Japan during the third round of the K-1 Battle of Bellagio III at Bellagio in Las Vegas on Saturday, Aug. 7, 2004. Roufus won the fight by a unanimous decision.



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jessica is on a cross country trip right now


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saturday night . keg in alexis' garage. good times







last night was good times. went to rockbottom in ballston to watch SOJA do an acoustic set. then to dr.dremos for beer drinking and beer pong.


last night i played poker with pats boys. and i won 40$ bling.





Date & Time: 8/15/2004 3:00 PM
Gates Open: 1:30 PM


Nas, ten years after his groundbreaking platinum debut Illmatic, which helped spearhead the hip-hop renaissance of New York, stands alone at the pinnacle of hip-hop. Nas takes his place as one of hip-hops greatest street poets. Poet, prophet, and teacher - his skills mark him as a master, his longevity, a legend.



click to watch in quicktime


SOJA on "Sound Waves" dvd compilation from The Pit in Nags Head, NC. "You don't know" performed live at The Pit alongside some nice surfing clips.

BUY IT from OREILLY.com


This is the first "Missing Manual" I have read, but it won’t be the last. The iPod manual is a bit of a struggle and of course